


The Sweetest Devotion

by psuedo118



Category: Holby City
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Declarations Of Love, F/F, Femslash, Lesbian Romance, berena - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:19:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7336987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psuedo118/pseuds/psuedo118
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Serena can tell that Bernie’s been acting strangely around her recently. She can’t put her finger on it, but she can tell, that big macho army medic is avoiding her. And she’s determined to find out way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sweetest Devotion

**Author's Note:**

> Title derived from Adele’s ‘Sweetest Devotion’

It seemed to be a fairly quiet day on AAU. Serena was looking forward to spending the day with Bernie again. Yes, they clashed, and often at that. But their clashes were always relevant to patient care. Well, not always, but together they made a dynamic duo, and AAU ran like a well-oiled machine. There was nothing their department couldn’t handle. But for what felt like the last several weeks Bernie had been inconsistent with her hours, switching at the last minute. And Serena felt a bit at odds. She had grown used to having the stubborn trauma surgeon around. Instead, most days she ended up sifting through Bernie’s trash post-shift, the only remnants of the leggy blonde in her office. Occasionally Bernie left a note or a gift - But Serena felt they paled in comparison to the presence of the woman herself. Her calls had started going to voicemail, and Serena was starting to feel ignored. No one ignored Serena Campbell. This was getting ridiculous. Serena missed her friend. She missed the tension between them. Living with Jason was very stressful, but Serena enjoyed letting off some steam with Bernie. She’d never really had such a strong friendship with a woman before. Even when she had been angry with Bernie, she was still drawn to the woman. How strange. 

Serena had made sure to arrive early to her shift, nearly two hours early to be exact. She was determined not to miss Bernie today. She had double-checked to see that Bernie was on the roster for the day, and at the last minute phoned Hanssen to change her own schedule. Two could play at this game. Hanssen seemed almost amused at the phone call, and the weird hours that Serena had asked to fill for the day, overlapping two shifts was very unusual indeed. Thankfully, Hanssen was wise enough not to remark. Perhaps Serena thought, she was just being paranoid, but if there was something going on with Bernie she needed to get to the bottom of it. She would not sit back while her department was taken away from her. And, with Bernie’s history of betrayal, it would be better to sort these things out immediately. Yes, they had drawn a veil over the circumstances of Bernie’s betrayal of Marcus. But Serena was no fool. And she was a professional. If something was going on with Bernie, she needed to face it head on. She was a goddamn Doctor after all. They both were. And they would sort this out like professionals.

Serena pushed open the doors and surveyed the Unit. She could see Raf and Fletch huddled at the nurse’s station deep in conversation. They perked up like naughty school boys when they saw her come in, they both nodded in her direction grinning like cheshire cats. She’d need to find out what that was about later, eyeing them like two cats that had gotten the cream. She scanned the ward for Bernie and found her off to one side in a consultation room with a patient. Serena slowed on the way to her office, observing the blonde smile down at the patient in the bed. The smile didn’t quite reach Bernie’s eyes, and Serena wondered at the observation, frowning as she watched the blonde close the file in her hands. 

Serena knew that Bernie could be a bit of a dark horse. She’d asked out for coffee and shiraz a number of times before Bernie had agreed. And then the world had seemed to crumble around them following the reveal of Bernie’s infidelity and Serena’s suspension. But then, there had been a partnership, a truce and something more. A remedy of sorts between them, for each other. Especially following Arthur’s death, Bernie had been unfailingly supportive. And then she was gone. And as stubborn and unmoving as Bernie could be, Serena had missed having her around these past few weeks. Somehow Serena felt like something had been taken from her, and she wasn’t quite sure what — but she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to find out. Yes, watching Bernie, Serena could tell that there was something up.

She watched as Bernie exited the consulting room, spotted her and made an immediate moved towards Fletch and Raf. Serena was not about to let that happen, if she knew Bernie at all, the woman’s next move would be outside the ward for a coffee and then right out the building for a smoke. This needed to be dealt with now, while the ward was so quiet. “Ms Wolfe, a word if you will.” Serena said, indicating for Bernie to follow her into their office. She waited until Bernie was inside before closing the door. Bernie had just sat down, arms folded, with a questioning, “Serena, what’s this about-” But Serena was ready to pounce.  
“You’ve been avoiding me.”  
“What!? Me? No, definitely not.”  
“All right…” Serena said, the tone of disbelief evident as she flicked her eyes over Bernie. To Serena she seemed nervous, like an unsteady filly. “But there is something going on. Is it Marcus? Is he pressurising you about the divorce?”  
“You are sweet, but no.”  
“Then what is it Bernie? We can’t keep going on like this.”  
“Why not? We’re fine.” Bernie wasn’t even bothering to make eye contact.  
“For goodness sakes! Why must you be so stubborn! You can’t strong arm everything Bernie. You need to tell me what on earth is-”  
“Yes, well, if you are quite finished I would like to debrief Mr Fletcher on my patient.”  
“Bernie.”  
“Ms Campbell. Really.”  
“I just want to help Bernie. Let me help you.”  
“You can’t help me.”  
“And why the bloody hell not!?” Serena was fuming.  
“Because you are apart of the bloody problem!?”  
Bernie looked horrified at her outburst, rubbing a hand fiercely over her face. “Serena, I’m sorry. That’s not… You’re not. I’m trying to deal with something on my own. Can you let me do that?”  
“But what is it Bernie, I need to know. One minute you say we’re fine and the next I am the problem. I can’t carry on like this. And neither can you. You’re all out of sorts. Even worse than when you were outed to the entire hospital.” Serena took pity on the woman, bending down in front of her and holding her hands, “Tell me.” she tried to coax Bernie gently.  
“Serena… If I tell you, it will push you away. And I treasure our friendship far too… too much to do that.” The pained expression in Bernie’s eyes tempted Serena to relent, but she was angry too.  
“You are pushing me away. Right now. You started pushing me away weeks ago, just tell me.” Serena’s thumbs rubbed over Bernie’s hands in her own, and smilingly she said, “If your adultery didn’t push me away, then I doubt this, whatever this is, will. Just tell me.”  
Bernie looked so pained, so in anguish.  
“Serena… I’ve never been particularly good at this sort of thing.”  
“What sort of thing exactly?” Serena asked, “Has the Board asked you to spy on me?”  
“The Board? What? No. No, Serena, this has nothing to do with the Board. I just… I just needed some space, that’s all.”  
“Space from me? Because as far as I can tell, I thought that we were in this together. I thought you had my back.”  
“I do, Serena. Believe me.”  
“Bernie. Really, then what the hell is going on!? What am I supposed to think. You’re treating me like a leper. In my own damn department.”  
“No, no. That was never my intention.” And to Serena’s surprise the fight seemed to go out of Bernie. All that determination, that buoyancy that normally seemed to bubble around the tough army medic was absent. It was disheartening to witness. ‘She seems so vulnerable like this’, Serena thought to herself.  
“The thing is, Serena, I’m not actually sure how to do this.” Bernie was staring down at their clasped hands   
“Do what, Bernie?”  
“Please, Serena can’t we do this at Albie’s later.”  
“No, we bloody well can’t. Because we both know that you’ll do a runner. So, out with it.”  
“Alright. Alright. But you’ve forced my hand,” Bernie says as she stands up and moves away from Serena to pace the available office space, when she has a rhythm she finally says, “You see, Marcus pursued me in medical school, and it was… And then, Alex pursued me in Afghanistan. And that blew up quite impressively, and now, I don’t want to ruin… we’ve become so close, and I value our friendship…”  
“Bernie, what are you trying to say exactly?” Serena can tell that the woman before her is overcome. She’s more or less babbling, and as adorable as Serena finds the uncertainty from the usually stoic medic, this uncharacteristic behaviour has Serena quite concerned.  
“Serena…” Bernie looks down to where Serena has sat down on the chairs by the doors, her doe-like eyes almost mournful, and says, “It will ruin… everything.”  
“What darling?”  
And in a rush, Bernie relents, “My feelings for you.”  
“…”  
“…”  
“Oh.”  
“Oh?”  
“I see.”  
“Do you?”  
“So, you have feelings… beyond the realm of friendship. For me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, there’s no reason to look quite so glum about it.”  
“There isn’t?”  
“No, I don’t think so. I am quite a catch after all.” Serena watches as Bernie seems to perk up at the playful tone of her voice.  
“Does that mean…? What does that mean?” Bernie’s eyes squinting at Serena.  
“I think that means you aught to make dinner arrangements at a fancy restaurant, and ask me out properly Ms. Wolfe, don’t you think?”  
Serena watches as the smile seems to take hold. All that worry, all that agony lifts from Bernie’s features. Her joy is palpable once more as she says, softly, “I think that… that could be arranged immediately Ms. Campbell.” Bernie’s smile is tentative as she outstretches her hand towards Serena, an unspoken offer already being extended. And Serena allows Bernie to pull her upwards, into a loose embrace. Serena’s smile mirrors Bernie’s as she says, “There, now, didn’t I tell you that you would feel better if you told me what was wrong.” Bernie merely pulls her closer as they sway against each other. Serena’s arms on her shoulders and her own around Serena’s waist, Bernie asks, “Does that mean you already knew? Of my feelings?” Serena allows herself to linger on the woman’s face so close to her own as she says, “No. I didn’t. I just knew my own. And I knew that if you keep avoiding me I would have to do something drastic.” Her eyes take in Bernie’s lips as Bernie asks with a twinkle in her eye, “And what exactly would you have done?” And with a quiet, “This.” Serena leans forward, pulling Bernie towards her. She can feel Bernie smile into the kiss, and she can’t help but smile in response. 

When a knock sounds at the door, it’s an effort to break apart, but when they do they’re both surprisingly sheepish — and alarmingly flushed, a fact that seems to make them blush even more. Serena is trying to flatten her own hair in the back while reaching to wipe away smudged lipstick she’s left on Bernie’s mouth. When they’re both presentable Serena opens the door, while Bernie moves to the other side of the office and begins to tidy her most recent mess. Fletch eyes the women from where he stands at the doorway as he informs them of the latest incoming patients. He can’t put his figure on it, but there’s something up. ‘Good thing I’ve already put twenty quid on them being an item before the end of the week,' he thinks to himself as he closes the door behind him. ‘Sparks are flying.’ The thought gives him a spring in his step.

“Well…” starts Serena once Fletch has closed the door behind him. “Do you think he…?”  
“I don’t know. I don’t think so… But, there are things that we need to discuss.”  
“Yes, there are…”   
“Like the ward, we’re co-consultants and… And we’ve started on plans for the Trauma Unit, which you supported. With this,” she indicated with her hand between them, “…that could be seen as… nepotism.”  
Serena listened as Bernie carried on about the obstacles they would have to overcome together, but Serena was more concerned about something else however, something that had split her and Robbie apart well after they had begun, what would it do to her and Bernie before they had even started?  
Serena resigned herself to the outcome as she interrupted Bernie’s thoughts, “Not to scare you off… of our plans for… but there is Jason to think of…”  
“Yes, of course… You must be worried about how he’ll take it. His Auntie Serena dating a woman, you must be worried. How could I be so selfish?”  
“No, Bernie, I meant that Jason will always be a part of my life. He’s a sort of package deal really.”  
“Quite right.” Bernie said, a single no-nonsense nod. But Bernie’s decisiveness seemed to unsettle Serena.  
“Bernie, I don’t think you appreciate the seriousness of the situation. I can’t just date you, and have my heart broken by you in a few weeks time. Jason wouldn’t be able to take the upheaval. Never mind the fact that one of us would have to leave the ward, and as you’re the Trauma Surgeon, with a brand new Trauma Unit. I would have to be the one to leave AAU. To leave Morven, Fletch, Raf and you… Maybe this was a bad idea. We’ve had our little fantasy, and now its over.”  
“Serena, wait… I think… I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. You’ve just been through our hypothetical relationship and ended it in less than 20 minutes after our first kiss. Just take a breath.”  
“But Bernie…” words seemed to fail her as Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena once more.  
“We’ll figure it out. We will, darling. But first, dinner; a nice bottle of Shiraz; candlelight - Just the two of us. We’ll figure it all out. I won’t hurt Jason. I won’t hurt you. And perhaps our relationship as two senior members of staff and co-consultants may allow us the leeway to continue on as we are, we can speak to Hanssen ask him for his discretion and our options. We are more formidable together than we are apart.”   
“You had me at “We’ll figure it out””  
“Did I? Normally it takes at least until “Shiraz”.” The wry remark had Serena poking Bernie in the side good-naturedly. Bernie in response leans down smilingly to gently press her lips to Serena’s once more, a sigh of relief as they moved closer into each other’s arms once more.  
When they stop for breathe, Serena leans into the embrace, as Bernie says quietly, “I can’t promise that it will be perfect, or easy, or that we won’t clash intermittently as perusal.” Leaning her chin on top of Serena’s head, Bernie contemplated the woman in her arms. “But I can promise you my love… and my sweetest devotion.” Eyes closed in Bernie’s steadfast embrace, Serena finally allows herself to inhale Bernie’s perfume at the base of her neck, and thinks back to the notes and the gifts; the support over the last few months; the welcome back emergency pack. Yes, she was already familiar with Bernie’s devotion, maybe she should allow herself to enjoy Bernie’s love.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I captured their character's and their relationship. All feedback is appreciated. After last nights episode expect Berena smut in your future.


End file.
